Helloooo. Just played the update, and I have some thoughts that no one will like but I can’t be bothered to give a damn. If you don’t like spoilers quit reading now. Also tagging for savior.
So. Can we all agree that the overwhelming majority of the new characters for Homestuck just really, really suck. Of course we can because it’s obvious. As someone who loves, and I do mean loves to create characters, I was annoyed.
In all writing, of any kind, characters are the most important parts. Plot is too, which there is plenty of in Homestuck, but it is NOT an either/or situation. No matter what, you HAVE to have good characters. They can even make up for a plot that could use work. The first twelve trolls and the eight kids do a good job of that—they have depth, and defined personalities that are all their own. That’s why we loved them so much! They really gave us a lot to work with, a lot to think deeply on, and a lot to inspire us.
This new bunch though is just awful. None—with a few exceptions—of them has even one quirk that is all their own—no not typing quirks, actual quirks. They’re just cardboard cutouts of stupid shit people on tumblr do. Yeah, haha, that’s funny I guess for fifteen minutes, but after that what do you have? Nothing.
Literally the only part of the update flash games I liked were Porrim, Meenah, Kurloz, and Meulin in relation to Kurloz. And in b4 the obligatory ‘UGH Y U ONLY LIKE THE MAKARAS YOU FANGIRL.’ its not like that! The Makaras are good characters in the analytic sense. They have ulterior motives, they move the story along, they make you want to know more about what they do and who they are as people. Why did Kurloz stitch his mouth shut? For Meulin, as penance, or as some kind of servitude to Gamzee/Caliborn? Was he responsible for what happened to Mituna (who was possibly the worst, btw)? How did he get Meulin on board?
Porrim and Meenah have their own real, unique personalities as well, outside of the general paradigm they’re set in. Porrim’s feminism contrasted with her motherly instincts for Kankri are an interesting combination! Meenah comes off as a punky devil-may-care type, but shes smart and proactive. Even Aranea has her moments like this.
tl;dr, Hussie definitely called it in this time around with the characters. They’re flat, mean nothing, do nothing, and are, therefore, boring. I really wonder if he thinks his fans are morons sometimes. :/